Been a long time since i came online (:
anyway been slacking all while....(wonder how i'm gonna get my 9points for prelim to get e sji i scholarship -> don't wanna pay the $15000 a year school fees rofl, i might as well apply for overseas education) but hey, it's relaxing to enjoy life every now and then...

Thurday last week, Mt Faber had my group of friends and i going over for a bowling session. It was fun, but the scores diminished the satisfaction. My new ball lost its' functionality in my hands because it was too heavy and i couldn't control it well. Shawn did pretty well, in relation to the group, by achieving an average of130. Manoj managed to break his barrier by reaching 100+ and vignesh performed well for the first game. On the second, he almost hit 70+ as his 10 frame score but in the 10th frame, he managed a double strike which brought him over the 100s.Ky averaged 50~70.


Yesterday : Sat :kk improved bowling techiques by reading up and practicing.


TODAY = BORED. RETARDED TEST TMR. CYA >.<

YEAH, finally the blog entry for the week!
So damn tired during the schooling week... mentally exhausted and physically as well (ahem..) thanks to the deprivation of sleep.

NOTE!: Prelims is just a few weeks away and the o levels less than 1 month...

Eng oral and spa are next week = gg.

was supposed to rendezvous with shawn, ky, bob (Wj) and unexpectedly... YES UNEXPECTEDLY Vignesh on hamachi for some games of dota... eventually it didn't proceeded as planned because we all had different versions of wc3, (well they either lost the original or don't have one and hence unable to update their versions due to authentication problems.)

So here i am now, tired and wanting to have a good chat with a friend, albeit still on facebook trying to do something "productivE".

imma need to see the doc tomorrow so i have to get my sleep before 12am...

NIGHT~

P.S Gonna be really busy tomorrow onwards thanks to prelim preparations (lol i hope i don't procrastinate). To get the SJII IB Scholarship i need to have 9 points. (that's madness.... Pure and virgin 9 points - not including the subtraction of 2 cca points /2 from hmt and hence the word "virgin"). Everyone knows how hard the SJI Prelims are, but i'm not gonna get deterred just yet. I think JC's still a good alternative.. i don't mind, i rather have God decide on this for me (:

Lol, just read the newspaper 'bout this 10yr old scaling 165cm that does 25.7 and 12.46 for his 200 and 100m events respectively. I salute his achievements man... He's just primary four and he's already doing better than most of the average athletes my age.

His timing for a primary 4 is really paramount to my own personal best already. By the end of this year, i am sure he is able to surpass my own timing. I am secondary 4 -.-, that's like 6 years older. Sad to say i only have 3~4 years of training... (was in orchestra, then scouts during my primary years)

Anyway, cheerios to this little buddy and wishing him the greatest of all luck to help Singapore gain recognition in the prestigious track & field events itself.

as if i wasn't tired and exhausted tending the drink stall and to serve the bloody freeloaders, simultaneously trying to refill the container with more mineral water and hundred plus. all i need was thanks and not some stupid arrogant "i deserve it", or "it's your job" look. k so i intended to bring a carton (24) of 100 plus back home but decided it was too much of a burden and obstructive in the sardin packed train.
during the whole tiring day(afternoon, to be more precise), it is pity i had to stay cooped up in the store instead of feeding my eye with candies(lol >.<) BLAH.
after the day's event, me and najib decided to have dinner at long john at tiong bahru plaza. pretty oily yet filling. i wouldn't even dare to touch such food before my nationals (ahhh happyy!) and right after that we went to toilet before going to pop to get that physics tys.
so in the end, i stood on the train the whole journey back and then proceed to the service counter at the lakeside mrt to retrieve my remuneration from SMRT.

[story : yeah, i topped up my ez link with like, 9 bucks - 1 5bucks, 2 2bucks- but no receipt and value was give and added respectively. then i had to settle some administrative stuff with the officer and was told that i will receive a confirmation letter around 1 month later that will tell me whether i would be granted my refund/remuneration, whichever you like.]

there's this bunch of indian foreign worker (note i receded from the word bangla because it's kinda insultive) behind me queueing up and they were making that kind of sounds -hissing, tsk tsk sound- to show their discontent and impatience. i was like.. !@#$% them, and to show that i "acknowledged" their expressions, i walk just right past them after receiving my refund and then said "aiyo " and retracted my tongue back 3 times to create that weird sound.

This isn't the end of the shit happenings. Called this stupid vignesh for a confirmation whether he wanted to catch a movie tomorrow or go for bowling sessions with our other friends and he was always hesistant and usual. He doesn't want to name a decision that he already made on the phone. He will just let his mind wander away as you tell him to let you know by 8. less than a minute later, he replied, "aiya, i don't feel like going.. sorry" Actually, i have only myself to blame, for i already know his character... this isn't the first time already.

anyway, cheerios, hope i have a good night sleep.
have fun people (:

[05/07/08]

As i entered the stadium at Choa Chu Kang, the pressure i felt intensified and my adrenaline started to build up again. I hate that familiar queasy feeling and numbness - as well as feeling weak all about the body - I had experienced two years back at the Nationals Junior Track and Field competition.

This time round, it was the 49th nationals track and field meet heats for athletes to pit against each other and to qualify for the finals. I acknowledged my passion for running but i'm compared to others, not very fast in terms of timing, especially when i'm of small built and hence waiting for puberty so i refrained from doing weights. When it boils down to the competition, you will understand why you would train enthusiastically for years and years only to compete in that race that will end in seconds or minutes.

I still remembered how i was whining to my captain the previous day about my insecurities and anxieties. He gave me advice that was bound to alleviate my worries abit. I can't believe i'm in the stadium at this moment. Time simply passed too fast.

As the race commenced, i started to feel void of any pressure. I told myself i just needed to completed this meaningless race (which i found out later i was wrong).
"Bang!" The loud blast of the gunshot reverberated in my mind and i took a little while to react before kicking off the starting blocks. BAD START. I did not kept to my strategy of sprinting the first 50 metre and i completely lost my form, especially my arm movement and running momentum.
During the last 200m, i started to slow down drastically. I allowed the lactic to take its' toll on me and i started to tire rapidly. I saw a few of my other competitors the ran past me, making me fall behind my intial 3rd position. I had a feeling i was last. At the last hundred metre, i literally gave up. I did not quicken my pace, neither did i tell myself : "Push, Rayan, come on, do your best, break your personal best... Push!". And with that, i completed my race with much regret and discomfort after knowing from my track mates i actually not the last.
My previous personal best was at secondary 2 which was 67seconds. This time i made it under 60seconds. It was a catch22 situation-whether i should be happy- because an improvement of more than 7seconds wasn't marginal and in this event, it is alot... At the same time, 67s is considered a very slow timing, so obviously with another 2 years of effort, i can obviously do so much more better. I knew if i hadn't gave up, i could easily attain a 57seconds.

[Analogue]: Weeelll, we went swimming afterwards. Kind of fun since the whole group went. Kind of retarded too, such is the fact when we used our PE attire to dry ourselves up. Where else can you find such good ol' buddies? Oh yeah, there was this sign that advises swimmers not to dive in the "river pool", which i completely ignored due to the fun i was having in the water. Not to soon, i chipped the edge of my upper front tooth because i dived right into the floor of the pool. It hurts alot. The floor tasted stupid, too.

There was alot to learn today, and hence the reflection. I find that i actually give up way earlier than others. So what if you have the technical advantage ? I need to overcome that mental barrier otherwise i can never unlock my potential and worst still, like today, even let it override my techniques. Additionally, i learned that to embrace competition or obstacles is the best way to do well for it, instead of consoling oneself to put in minimal effort since you will never win. Such negative attitude and character of mine definitely has room for improvement and some complementary review sessions.

My thanks to Ashwin for the chance to experience the atmosphere